i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
