I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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