Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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