Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just blew my weed a kiss
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
