Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
