all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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