people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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