Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
