i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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