Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
