Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
