hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
