Apparently you make a good broom.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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