so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
