I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
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I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?