somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
