Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen

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(727): View more from Florida

please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me

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(770): View more from Georgia

I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked

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(773): View more from Illinois

I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

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(954): View more from Florida

my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek

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(315): View more from New York

A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry

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(801): View more from Utah

I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.

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