i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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