She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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