singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
