Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
