I'm really into asian looking animals
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
