Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
