did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Alive.
So much puke
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
