just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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