i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
