The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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