u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
This toilet bowl is my home.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
