When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize