she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
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I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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