It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
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I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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