So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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