Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
