Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
