But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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