My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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