Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
