i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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