Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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