Duck Duck Cougar?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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