I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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