Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
