I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize