What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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