yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
