how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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