I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
