I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize