and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
