I faked an abortion last night.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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