Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
