it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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