i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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