forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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