I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
