You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
