i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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