so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish i was in the wii world.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
