I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So. Much. Porn.
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