he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How does one acquire holy water?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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