My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I've blown a few things in my day
I understand Curling. That high.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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