Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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