nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize