How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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