I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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