He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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