You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
