so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
