Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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