Welp...herpes.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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