It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
