Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
