Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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