I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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