don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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