Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
