whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
from now on my penis is your penis
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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